whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
