Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
