Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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