So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
