I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
