My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
me + whiskey = a bad person
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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