Soap is not a condiment
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
