Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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