I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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