I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
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But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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