Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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