Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
