The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
