WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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