Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She's the barista slut.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
