i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
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Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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