it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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