so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there was a trapeze. enough said
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
