when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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