I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
