very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
