I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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