So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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