Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
