I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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