why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
