They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
