Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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