I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
