bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize