Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
