So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
