We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
