It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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