i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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