another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
