Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
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More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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