I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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