You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
