i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
