So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
