Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
