I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
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Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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