gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
