If i come over, it means nothing
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
