I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You made out with two different species that night
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
