What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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