Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
