textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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