White coat. Heels.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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