My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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