i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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