Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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