dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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