So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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