ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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