New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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