the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
