it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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