Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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