she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
me + whiskey = a bad person
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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