he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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