She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
